60Onion News Network (Video)http://tv.theonion.com/en-us2010 The Onion, Inc.noThe Onion News Network is the 24-hour cable TV news choice for billions of viewers in 811 countries. Now the hard-hitting, award-winning news you need is available anytime and anywhere you want. Subscribe and watch right now.The Onion News Network is the 24-hour cable TV news choice for billions of viewers in 811 countries. Now the hard-hitting, award-winning news you need is available anytime and anywhere you want. Subscribe and watch right now.2010 The Onion, Inc.ComedyThe Onion News Network is the 24-hour cable TV news choice for billions of viewers in 811 countries. Now the hard-hitting, award-winning news you need is available anytime and anywhere you want. Subscribe and watch right now.http://tv.theonion.comhttp://www.theonion.com/content/themes/onion/assets/onn/itunes_med.jpgOnion News NetworkHot New Relationship Book Warns Women: 'Wake Up! He's A Shapeshifter'The OnionBestselling author Craig Wheedon stops by Today NOW! to urge ladies to face the truth and dump the shapeshifter.YesThu, 18 Mar 2010 11:00:36 EDThttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/hot_new_relationship_book_warns<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/fD88wVE2drCLDnaZHgIfwm42RC8/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/fD88wVE2drCLDnaZHgIfwm42RC8/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/fD88wVE2drCLDnaZHgIfwm42RC8/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/fD88wVE2drCLDnaZHgIfwm42RC8/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=aZoBT98FOzc:OxIBAkjzuq4:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=aZoBT98FOzc:OxIBAkjzuq4:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=aZoBT98FOzc:OxIBAkjzuq4:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/aZoBT98FOzc" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/aZoBT98FOzc/hot_new_relationship_book_warnshttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/hot_new_relationship_book_warnshttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2010%2F03%2F18%2FSHAPESHIFTER_ITUNES.mp4&title=Hot+New+Relationship+Book+Warns+Women%3A+%27Wake+Up%21+He%27s+A+Shapeshifter%27&issue=4611Kentucky Violated NCAA Rules While Recruiting Basketball-Playing DogThe OnionThe NCAA will investigate the Kentucky program for major recruiting violations including improper gifts of milk bones and rope tug toys.YesMon, 15 Mar 2010 19:00:05 EDThttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/kentucky_violated_ncaa_rules<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/CFLqIP9q7QsNiChh_Jzewx4gZog/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/CFLqIP9q7QsNiChh_Jzewx4gZog/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/CFLqIP9q7QsNiChh_Jzewx4gZog/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/CFLqIP9q7QsNiChh_Jzewx4gZog/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=K_xAFYGn-_8:vlf7sscWfkg:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=K_xAFYGn-_8:vlf7sscWfkg:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=K_xAFYGn-_8:vlf7sscWfkg:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/K_xAFYGn-_8" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/K_xAFYGn-_8/kentucky_violated_ncaa_ruleshttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/kentucky_violated_ncaa_ruleshttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2010%2F03%2F16%2FAIRBUD_ITUNES.mp4&title=Kentucky+Violated+NCAA+Rules+While+Recruiting+Basketball-Playing+Dog&issue=4611Boys Tragic Death Could Have Happened To Any Family With 20-Foot Pet Python The OnionRich and Lisa Shaw say there were no warning signs that their 300-pound Burmese Python would crush and eat their 3 year old son.YesThu, 11 Mar 2010 11:00:15 ESThttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/boy_s_tragic_death_could_have<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/7B0IvIQi4A4_Tzts22WC3nKh9TI/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/7B0IvIQi4A4_Tzts22WC3nKh9TI/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/7B0IvIQi4A4_Tzts22WC3nKh9TI/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/7B0IvIQi4A4_Tzts22WC3nKh9TI/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=tYJMWd5bcJQ:Ws_yK8ryl2Q:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=tYJMWd5bcJQ:Ws_yK8ryl2Q:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=tYJMWd5bcJQ:Ws_yK8ryl2Q:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/tYJMWd5bcJQ" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/tYJMWd5bcJQ/boy_s_tragic_death_could_havehttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/boy_s_tragic_death_could_havehttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2010%2F03%2F11%2FSNAKE_ATTACK_ITUNES.mp4&title=Boys+Tragic+Death+Could+Have+Happened+To+Any+Family+With+20-Foot+Pet+Python+&issue=4610Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening SomewhereThe OnionExcruciating up-to-the-minute coverage of some irrelevant bullshit story that has no ramifications whatsoever.YesMon, 8 Mar 2010 18:00:25 ESThttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/breaking_news_some_bullshit<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/Gt7Erlsvl1MH_lryyIPh9TOeNhw/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/Gt7Erlsvl1MH_lryyIPh9TOeNhw/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/Gt7Erlsvl1MH_lryyIPh9TOeNhw/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/Gt7Erlsvl1MH_lryyIPh9TOeNhw/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=Ax8fFkj3mbw:Z3gTdyTQwIA:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=Ax8fFkj3mbw:Z3gTdyTQwIA:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=Ax8fFkj3mbw:Z3gTdyTQwIA:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/Ax8fFkj3mbw" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/Ax8fFkj3mbw/breaking_news_some_bullshithttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/breaking_news_some_bullshithttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2010%2F03%2F09%2FBULLSHIT_STORY_ITUNES.mp4&title=Breaking+News%3A+Some+Bullshit+Happening+Somewhere&issue=4610How Will The End Of Print Journalism Affect Old Loons Who Hoard Newspapers?The OnionPanelists discuss how the decline of the newspaper industry will affect the loons and shut-ins who rely on newspapers for stacking around their ramshackle homes.YesThu, 4 Mar 2010 11:00:23 ESThttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/how_will_the_end_of_print<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/jluNDMz2Ok0Ls2RIoR1TL-qziJg/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/jluNDMz2Ok0Ls2RIoR1TL-qziJg/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/jluNDMz2Ok0Ls2RIoR1TL-qziJg/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/jluNDMz2Ok0Ls2RIoR1TL-qziJg/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=jSM9taYCnX0:8APfWH5Ulzk:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=jSM9taYCnX0:8APfWH5Ulzk:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=jSM9taYCnX0:8APfWH5Ulzk:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/jSM9taYCnX0" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/jSM9taYCnX0/how_will_the_end_of_printhttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/how_will_the_end_of_printhttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2010%2F03%2F04%2FDEATH_OF_NEWSPAPERS_ITUNES.mp4&title=How+Will+The+End+Of+Print+Journalism+Affect+Old+Loons+Who+Hoard+Newspapers%3F&issue=4609Obama Caught Lip-Syncing SpeechThe OnionAfter Obama slips up during an address on health care, White House officials are forced to admit the president occasionally uses a backing track for important speeches.YesMon, 1 Mar 2010 18:00:59 ESThttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/obama_caught_lip_syncing_speech<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/UtFPmis8LO1TJ65IJYqIDRq7l68/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/UtFPmis8LO1TJ65IJYqIDRq7l68/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/UtFPmis8LO1TJ65IJYqIDRq7l68/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/UtFPmis8LO1TJ65IJYqIDRq7l68/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=uesf2eljRNA:DZ2ORm82Q0k:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=uesf2eljRNA:DZ2ORm82Q0k:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=uesf2eljRNA:DZ2ORm82Q0k:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/uesf2eljRNA" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/uesf2eljRNA/obama_caught_lip_syncing_speechhttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/obama_caught_lip_syncing_speechhttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2010%2F03%2F02%2FOBAMA_LIP_SYNC_ITUNES.mp4&title=Obama+Caught+Lip-Syncing+Speech&issue=4609Filming Of Congressional Reality Show Disrupts Committee MeetingThe OnionRep. Cummings (D-VA) vows to ignore the haters and rise above the drama during the filming of his new reality series.YesThu, 25 Feb 2010 11:00:22 ESThttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/filming_of_congressional_reality<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/cUtAw706NV7ncB695WT5GLxXRf4/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/cUtAw706NV7ncB695WT5GLxXRf4/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/cUtAw706NV7ncB695WT5GLxXRf4/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/cUtAw706NV7ncB695WT5GLxXRf4/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=md6aW04jLeI:gbNXArlX3os:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=md6aW04jLeI:gbNXArlX3os:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=md6aW04jLeI:gbNXArlX3os:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/md6aW04jLeI" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/md6aW04jLeI/filming_of_congressional_realityhttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/filming_of_congressional_realityhttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2010%2F02%2F25%2FREALITY_SHOW_ITUNES.mp4&title=Filming+Of+Congressional+Reality+Show+Disrupts+Committee+Meeting&issue=4608Denmark Introduces Harrowing New Tourism Ads Directed By Lars Von TrierThe OnionTourism officials hope the acclaimed Danish director's bleak vision of unsettling sexuality and brutal violence will attract more visitors to their country.YesTue, 23 Feb 2010 10:17:43 ESThttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/denmark_introduces_harrowing_new<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/uIKR0Sl64skccVgxJC8olur_Sh8/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/uIKR0Sl64skccVgxJC8olur_Sh8/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/uIKR0Sl64skccVgxJC8olur_Sh8/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/uIKR0Sl64skccVgxJC8olur_Sh8/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=_wx1h9PEpRk:-JGwwfnjR6o:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=_wx1h9PEpRk:-JGwwfnjR6o:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=_wx1h9PEpRk:-JGwwfnjR6o:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/_wx1h9PEpRk" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/_wx1h9PEpRk/denmark_introduces_harrowing_newhttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/denmark_introduces_harrowing_newhttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2010%2F02%2F23%2FDENMARK_TOURISM_ITUNES.mp4&title=Denmark+Introduces+Harrowing+New+Tourism+Ads+Directed+By+Lars+Von+Trier&issue=4608Report: Baby Skull Jewelry May Be Linked To ViolenceThe OnionPanelists debate the validity of a new report which claims many decorative baby skulls are obtained by unlawful, inhumane means.YesThu, 18 Feb 2010 10:38:11 ESThttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/report_baby_skull_jewelry_may_be<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/0lc5ovM6iwNpgbYFSZDOWrN_EOo/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/0lc5ovM6iwNpgbYFSZDOWrN_EOo/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/0lc5ovM6iwNpgbYFSZDOWrN_EOo/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/0lc5ovM6iwNpgbYFSZDOWrN_EOo/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=o61vqaZngv8:0ouswuI5VnI:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=o61vqaZngv8:0ouswuI5VnI:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=o61vqaZngv8:0ouswuI5VnI:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/o61vqaZngv8" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/o61vqaZngv8/report_baby_skull_jewelry_may_behttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/report_baby_skull_jewelry_may_behttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2010%2F02%2F17%2FBABY_SKULLS_ITUNES.mp4&title=Report%3A+Baby+Skull+Jewelry+May+Be+Linked+To+Violence&issue=4607New Law Would Ban Marriages Between People Who Don't Love Each OtherThe OnionThe Minnesota law would nullify the marriages of an estimated 2.4 million couples currently living in silent resentment or seething hatred.YesSun, 14 Feb 2010 13:00:33 ESThttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/new_law_would_ban_marriages<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/tpynOuZp5WXwJutqgoDgbl0xA9M/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/tpynOuZp5WXwJutqgoDgbl0xA9M/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/tpynOuZp5WXwJutqgoDgbl0xA9M/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/tpynOuZp5WXwJutqgoDgbl0xA9M/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=Bm968i4U5FU:713TTKjWhhs:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=Bm968i4U5FU:713TTKjWhhs:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=Bm968i4U5FU:713TTKjWhhs:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/Bm968i4U5FU" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/Bm968i4U5FU/new_law_would_ban_marriageshttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/new_law_would_ban_marriageshttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2010%2F02%2F15%2FLOVELESS_MARRIAGE_ITUNES.mp4&title=New+Law+Would+Ban+Marriages+Between+People+Who+Don%27t+Love+Each+Other&issue=4607NASA Scientists Plan To Approach Girl By 2018The OnionThe team of scientists says the 19 million dollar mission will put them in direct contact with a woman by 2018.YesThu, 11 Feb 2010 11:00:11 ESThttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/nasa_scientists_plan_to_approach<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/ZiX7aXo7pSy2aKaF376Q1EASeAU/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/ZiX7aXo7pSy2aKaF376Q1EASeAU/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/ZiX7aXo7pSy2aKaF376Q1EASeAU/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/ZiX7aXo7pSy2aKaF376Q1EASeAU/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=oigLpAzt7uU:yXcjZaNtP2I:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=oigLpAzt7uU:yXcjZaNtP2I:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=oigLpAzt7uU:yXcjZaNtP2I:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/oigLpAzt7uU" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/oigLpAzt7uU/nasa_scientists_plan_to_approachhttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/nasa_scientists_plan_to_approachhttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2010%2F02%2F11%2FNASA_GIRL_ITUNES.mp4&title=NASA+Scientists+Plan+To+Approach+Girl+By+2018&issue=4606Insidious Worm Makes Unauthorized Purchases When Computer User Is DrunkThe OnionComputer experts say individuals with upcoming bachelor parties or afterwork get-togethers are especially vulnerable to cyber attacks resulting in fraudulent late-night purchases.YesMon, 8 Feb 2010 18:15:36 ESThttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/insidious_worm_makes_unauthorized<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/WCWzzV79fRaBw3TftY3d1CGkPSs/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/WCWzzV79fRaBw3TftY3d1CGkPSs/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/WCWzzV79fRaBw3TftY3d1CGkPSs/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/WCWzzV79fRaBw3TftY3d1CGkPSs/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=8cpzcOohCow:vYyv6SAiEDQ:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=8cpzcOohCow:vYyv6SAiEDQ:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=8cpzcOohCow:vYyv6SAiEDQ:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/8cpzcOohCow" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/8cpzcOohCow/insidious_worm_makes_unauthorizedhttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/insidious_worm_makes_unauthorizedhttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2010%2F02%2F09%2FDRUNK_WORM_ITUNES.mp4&title=Insidious+Worm+Makes+Unauthorized+Purchases+When+Computer+User+Is+Drunk&issue=4606How To Put The Spark Back Into Your Relationship With Your CatThe OnionMelissa Donley, author and cat relationship expert, visits Today NOW! with some tips for people in long term relationships with their cats. YesThu, 4 Feb 2010 11:00:42 ESThttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/how_to_put_the_spark_back_into<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/BwXtG9YoVogVWh76lUzgJClpf1U/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/BwXtG9YoVogVWh76lUzgJClpf1U/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/BwXtG9YoVogVWh76lUzgJClpf1U/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/BwXtG9YoVogVWh76lUzgJClpf1U/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=a6LTtR-_5UA:F91CyUMmZf8:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=a6LTtR-_5UA:F91CyUMmZf8:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=a6LTtR-_5UA:F91CyUMmZf8:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/a6LTtR-_5UA" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/a6LTtR-_5UA/how_to_put_the_spark_back_intohttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/how_to_put_the_spark_back_intohttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2010%2F02%2F04%2FCAT_LOVE_ITUNES.mp4&title=How+To+Put+The+Spark+Back+Into+Your+Relationship+With+Your+Cat&issue=4605Packers Fan Announces He Will Return To Drinking For Another SeasonThe OnionChris Lukawski, a longtime devotee of the Packers and beer, is confident his battered liver and family can handle another NFL season of unrestrained alcohol consumption. YesMon, 1 Feb 2010 18:00:19 ESThttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/packers_fan_announces_he_will<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/8koMw_V0iiBAM9xGz3hTQIqH3-s/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/8koMw_V0iiBAM9xGz3hTQIqH3-s/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/8koMw_V0iiBAM9xGz3hTQIqH3-s/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/8koMw_V0iiBAM9xGz3hTQIqH3-s/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=nRNVb5NYwEs:gu2uLpy9TFw:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=nRNVb5NYwEs:gu2uLpy9TFw:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=nRNVb5NYwEs:gu2uLpy9TFw:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/nRNVb5NYwEs" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/nRNVb5NYwEs/packers_fan_announces_he_willhttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/packers_fan_announces_he_willhttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2010%2F02%2F02%2FRETURN_TO_DRINKING_ITUNES2.mp4&title=Packers+Fan+Announces+He+Will+Return+To+Drinking+For+Another+Season&issue=4605Rep. Seeks Retroactive Immunity For Anyone Who Hit On First Lady Last NightThe OnionRep. Bruce Durant proposes a bill protecting anyone who who may have had a little too much to drink at a White House event and called Michelle Obama a "beautiful queen."YesThu, 28 Jan 2010 11:00:13 ESThttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/rep_seeks_retroactive_immunity<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/sFAFjwX5amTCHXCr95ls8sliIXU/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/sFAFjwX5amTCHXCr95ls8sliIXU/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/sFAFjwX5amTCHXCr95ls8sliIXU/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/sFAFjwX5amTCHXCr95ls8sliIXU/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=8dRBb89I2j4:M23Uge6a0ws:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=8dRBb89I2j4:M23Uge6a0ws:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=8dRBb89I2j4:M23Uge6a0ws:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/8dRBb89I2j4" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/8dRBb89I2j4/rep_seeks_retroactive_immunityhttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/rep_seeks_retroactive_immunityhttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2010%2F01%2F28%2FRETROACTIVE_IMMUNITY_ITUNES.mp4&title=Rep.+Seeks+Retroactive+Immunity+For+Anyone+Who+Hit+On+First+Lady+Last+Night&issue=4604Crime Reporter: Man Had Sex With Wife Thousands Of Times Before Killing HerThe OnionIn this episode of 'Raw Justice,' a depraved sex fiend violated his wife's body almost weekly for ten years before finally murdering her.YesMon, 25 Jan 2010 18:00:31 ESThttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/crime_reporter_man_had_sex_with<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/IwT77wUyaCrF_Ua6VVsl3loQcoE/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/IwT77wUyaCrF_Ua6VVsl3loQcoE/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/IwT77wUyaCrF_Ua6VVsl3loQcoE/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/IwT77wUyaCrF_Ua6VVsl3loQcoE/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=ev4g-ibnF5M:G571Arukop8:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=ev4g-ibnF5M:G571Arukop8:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=ev4g-ibnF5M:G571Arukop8:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/ev4g-ibnF5M" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/ev4g-ibnF5M/crime_reporter_man_had_sex_withhttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/crime_reporter_man_had_sex_withhttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2010%2F01%2F26%2FSEX_WITH_WIFE_ITUNES.mp4&title=Crime+Reporter%3A+Man+Had+Sex+With+Wife+Thousands+Of+Times+Before+Killing+Her&issue=4604Final Season Of 'Lost' Promises To Make Fans More Annoying Than EverThe OnionProducers say the last season of 'Lost' will contain an unprecedented number of twists and turns for fans to endlessly debate around people who don't care at all.YesMon, 18 Jan 2010 18:00:32 ESThttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/final_season_of_lost_promises_to<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/5rIKo2hGGwNHlKW-63ri8aldetY/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/5rIKo2hGGwNHlKW-63ri8aldetY/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/5rIKo2hGGwNHlKW-63ri8aldetY/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/5rIKo2hGGwNHlKW-63ri8aldetY/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=RVReSycZFFA:zoB9Krk3ImI:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=RVReSycZFFA:zoB9Krk3ImI:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=RVReSycZFFA:zoB9Krk3ImI:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/RVReSycZFFA" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/RVReSycZFFA/final_season_of_lost_promises_tohttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/final_season_of_lost_promises_tohttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2010%2F01%2F19%2FLOST_FANS_ITUNES.mp4&title=Final+Season+Of+%27Lost%27+Promises+To+Make+Fans+More+Annoying+Than+Ever&issue=4602New Law Requires Women To Name Baby, Paint Nursery Before Getting AbortionThe OnionIn The Know panelists say more states should make decorating a nursery and choosing a baby name required steps in obtaining access to an abortion.YesThu, 14 Jan 2010 11:00:17 ESThttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/new_law_requires_women_to_name<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/_Cgdo7msFIlCnDa__7ulqDbYwNA/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/_Cgdo7msFIlCnDa__7ulqDbYwNA/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/_Cgdo7msFIlCnDa__7ulqDbYwNA/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/_Cgdo7msFIlCnDa__7ulqDbYwNA/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=qY7rxv_FZlk:HH1SnOLJQmw:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=qY7rxv_FZlk:HH1SnOLJQmw:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=qY7rxv_FZlk:HH1SnOLJQmw:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/qY7rxv_FZlk" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/qY7rxv_FZlk/new_law_requires_women_to_namehttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/new_law_requires_women_to_namehttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2010%2F01%2F14%2FABORTION_LAW_ITUNES.mp4&title=New+Law+Requires+Women+To+Name+Baby%2C+Paint+Nursery+Before+Getting+Abortion&issue=4602Biden Criticized For Appearing In Hennessy AdsThe OnionCiting White House Pressure, Hennessy pulled the Biden ads saying "Joe will always epitomize the smooth, original style of our world class cognac." YesMon, 11 Jan 2010 18:00:46 ESThttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/biden_criticized_for_appearing_in<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/t6jZVOe2lwIon1wkDx9-ZLg-kI8/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/t6jZVOe2lwIon1wkDx9-ZLg-kI8/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/t6jZVOe2lwIon1wkDx9-ZLg-kI8/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/t6jZVOe2lwIon1wkDx9-ZLg-kI8/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=vHzFGxGMPfY:s0novZRpzgQ:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=vHzFGxGMPfY:s0novZRpzgQ:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=vHzFGxGMPfY:s0novZRpzgQ:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/vHzFGxGMPfY" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/vHzFGxGMPfY/biden_criticized_for_appearing_inhttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/biden_criticized_for_appearing_inhttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2010%2F01%2F12%2FBIDEN_HENNESSY_ITUNES.mp4&title=Biden+Criticized+For+Appearing+In+Hennessy+Ads&issue=4602Congo Approves Economic Stimulus Package Of AK-47 For Every CitizenThe OnionCongo lawmakers are convinced the stimulus package will give Congolese the assault weapons they need to obtain clothes, food. YesThu, 7 Jan 2010 11:00:50 ESThttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/congo_approves_economic_stimulus<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/4y6kd7ssEos0KPVARIRGFxP5nKk/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/4y6kd7ssEos0KPVARIRGFxP5nKk/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/4y6kd7ssEos0KPVARIRGFxP5nKk/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/4y6kd7ssEos0KPVARIRGFxP5nKk/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=MCBIZUziAoE:W656YoCEzkw:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=MCBIZUziAoE:W656YoCEzkw:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=MCBIZUziAoE:W656YoCEzkw:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/MCBIZUziAoE" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/MCBIZUziAoE/congo_approves_economic_stimulushttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/congo_approves_economic_stimulushttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2010%2F01%2F07%2FCONGO_STIMULUS_ITUNES.mp4&title=Congo+Approves+Economic+Stimulus+Package+Of+AK-47+For+Every+Citizen&issue=4601VH1 Reality Show Bus Crashes In California Causing Major Slut SpillThe OnionClean-up crews are hard at work after a VH1 bus carrying reality show contestants overturned, spilling 2,000 pounds of highly concentrated slut. YesMon, 4 Jan 2010 18:00:44 ESThttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/vh1_reality_show_bus_crashes_in<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/DQ0LVG5BlmGQ3nQLXuq7pZhBYM8/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/DQ0LVG5BlmGQ3nQLXuq7pZhBYM8/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/DQ0LVG5BlmGQ3nQLXuq7pZhBYM8/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/DQ0LVG5BlmGQ3nQLXuq7pZhBYM8/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=rluOSuduf0I:mPLWyDshO_k:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=rluOSuduf0I:mPLWyDshO_k:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=rluOSuduf0I:mPLWyDshO_k:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/rluOSuduf0I" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/rluOSuduf0I/vh1_reality_show_bus_crashes_inhttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/vh1_reality_show_bus_crashes_inhttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2010%2F01%2F05%2FSLUT_SPILL_ITUNES.mp4&title=VH1+Reality+Show+Bus+Crashes+In+California+Causing+Major+Slut+Spill&issue=4601Internet Archaeologists Find Ruins Of 'Friendster' CivilizationThe OnionResearchers conducting the Friendster excavation say the site has been deserted since the year 2005 A.D.YesWed, 16 Dec 2009 11:00:16 ESThttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/internet_archaeologists_find<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/ISvyLDMOVVlv2ZO29ycuiqrcK3o/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/ISvyLDMOVVlv2ZO29ycuiqrcK3o/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/ISvyLDMOVVlv2ZO29ycuiqrcK3o/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/ISvyLDMOVVlv2ZO29ycuiqrcK3o/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=IJW1r5PHVvw:eH7xklORYRo:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=IJW1r5PHVvw:eH7xklORYRo:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=IJW1r5PHVvw:eH7xklORYRo:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/IJW1r5PHVvw" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/IJW1r5PHVvw/internet_archaeologists_findhttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/internet_archaeologists_findhttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2009%2F12%2F15%2FLOST_FRIENDSTER_ITUNES.mp4&title=Internet+Archaeologists+Find+Ruins+Of+%27Friendster%27+Civilization&issue=4551Adults Go Wild Over Latest In Children's Picture Book SeriesThe OnionAdult readers say they are drawn to the 'Green Man' children's book series by the complexity of its characters ranging from yellow to blue.YesThu, 10 Dec 2009 11:00:10 ESThttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/adults_go_wild_over_latest_in<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/84id_f3YndMLr-eF-lyYL-7J33M/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/84id_f3YndMLr-eF-lyYL-7J33M/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/84id_f3YndMLr-eF-lyYL-7J33M/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/84id_f3YndMLr-eF-lyYL-7J33M/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=HEtTLOfTSvM:wSQgnS4xhGg:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=HEtTLOfTSvM:wSQgnS4xhGg:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=HEtTLOfTSvM:wSQgnS4xhGg:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/HEtTLOfTSvM" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/HEtTLOfTSvM/adults_go_wild_over_latest_inhttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/adults_go_wild_over_latest_inhttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2009%2F12%2F10%2FCHILDRENS_BOOK_ITUNES.mp4&title=Adults+Go+Wild+Over+Latest+In+Children%27s+Picture+Book+Series&issue=4550DEA Recruits Lil Wayne To Use Up All Drugs In Mexico The OnionThe DEA says Lil Wayne is an indispensable weapon against Mexican drug cartels having eradicated 40 tons of marijuana alone by smoking it himself. YesMon, 7 Dec 2009 18:00:31 ESThttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/dea_recruits_lil_wayne_to_use_up<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/l4wMXWUTh9swHo1v8xoYFpiO5sw/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/l4wMXWUTh9swHo1v8xoYFpiO5sw/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/l4wMXWUTh9swHo1v8xoYFpiO5sw/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/l4wMXWUTh9swHo1v8xoYFpiO5sw/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=Lk0VFQYaiEU:QL-9fFDJn1Q:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=Lk0VFQYaiEU:QL-9fFDJn1Q:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=Lk0VFQYaiEU:QL-9fFDJn1Q:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/Lk0VFQYaiEU" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/Lk0VFQYaiEU/dea_recruits_lil_wayne_to_use_uphttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/dea_recruits_lil_wayne_to_use_uphttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2009%2F12%2F08%2FLIL_WAYNE_ITUNES.mp4&title=DEA+Recruits+Lil+Wayne+To+Use+Up+All+Drugs+In+Mexico+++++&issue=4550Report: Most College Males Admit To Regularly Getting StokedThe OnionPanelists discuss whether there is an epidemic among young people today who get stoked over everything from free keychains to tacos. YesThu, 3 Dec 2009 11:00:02 ESThttp://www.theonion.com/content/node/99487<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/i8kFffKOJG-LBrncQs0nL3T_MwQ/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/i8kFffKOJG-LBrncQs0nL3T_MwQ/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/i8kFffKOJG-LBrncQs0nL3T_MwQ/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/i8kFffKOJG-LBrncQs0nL3T_MwQ/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=xJv0Du1eZDs:jI90yRvq1jw:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=xJv0Du1eZDs:jI90yRvq1jw:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=xJv0Du1eZDs:jI90yRvq1jw:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/xJv0Du1eZDs" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/xJv0Du1eZDs/99487http://www.theonion.com/content/node/99487http://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2009%2F12%2F03%2FSTOKED_ITUNES.mp4&title=Report%3A+Most+College+Males+Admit+To+Regularly+Getting+Stoked&issue=4549nonadult