A.V. Club

TV: How I Met Your Mother:"Slapsgiving 2: Revenge Of The Slap"

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 19:59:00 -0600

You're setting yourself up for failure if you bill your Thanksgiving episode as a sequel to one of the most beloved episodes of the series. And for most of tonight's "Slapsgiving 2: Port of Call New Orleans," the failure is real. It's all delayed gratification and garden-variety family drama until the last two minutes. Then those last two minutes provide a high for the season so far. Isn't that how it always is with sequels? It's Marshall and Lily's first time to be hosting Thanksgiving in their own apartment, and in gratitude for Ted ...

TV: Contest:Win Sesame Street: 40 Years Of Sunny Days on DVD

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 17:35:00 -0600

This double-DVD collection travels through 40 years of your favorite children's show, with clips from every season, interviews with cast and crew, as well as behind-the-scenes peeks. We're talkin' 4.5 hours of Sesame Street, plus never-before-seen backstage footage and surprises. And a book! You know you want it. Just send us an e-mail with your mailing address (US addresses only, sorry), and we'll pick five lucky winners on or about December 2. ARV of prize: $29.98. Good luck!

Books: Contest:Win Star Trek: The Art Of The Film book

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 17:30:00 -0600

"Director J.J. Abrams’ new vision of the greatest space adventure of all time, Star Trek features a young, new crew venturing boldly where no man has gone before, as it tells the story of how the brash Starfleet cadet James T. Kirk first meets a Vulcan named Spock, and earns the Captain’s chair of the Starship Enterprise. The film quickly became a critical and commercial smash hit worldwide, as audiences — confirmed Trekkers and newcomers alike — thrilled to a state-of-the-art action epic which both respected the legacy of Gene Roddenberry’s archetypal modern myth and forged ahead into an ...

Features: Newswire:Oprah to produce sexy sexathon pilot for HBO

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 15:38:00 -0600

The good folks over at Variety report that Oprah Winfrey, the most beloved figure in the history of the universe, is set to produce a sexy pilot written by Secretary scribe Erin Cressida Wilson for HBO. The show will follow the travails of a woman who spontaneously decides to abandon her husband and children for what the article hyperbolically describes as "the seamy underbelly of L.A, where she indulges her secret fantasies and desires." You know what that means; anal, money shots, daisy chains and many more kinky sex acts too depraved to describe here. We would like to ...

Film: Hater:Inside-Out Dudes With Evil Tattoos Are The New Werewolves

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 15:02:00 -0600

As anyone who saw Twilight: Ballad Of The Melodramatic Papercut this weekend can attest, CGI Huskies are totally the new Abstinence Vampires, breathing near each others' faces is the new kissing, and no character development is the new character development. But what will be the new emotionally and physically abusive teen monster hotness? What will be the new CGI Huskies? Apparently it's Beasts With Really Good Balance. More specifically, it's Inside-Out Dudes With Evil Tattoos Who Can Stand On Top Of Bridges For Some Reason. Oh, and 10 seconds of vague monster transformation is the new movie trailer ...

Music: Newswire:No Daft Punk tour in the works

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 14:19:00 -0600

A statement released from the publicist French electro duo Daft Punk has dismissed recent rumors of an upcoming tour. Here's the note in its entirety: There are no tour dates currently planned for Daft Punk. The recent rumors of a Daft Punk tour are false. We would like to ensure that no fans are taken advantage of by fictitious rumors of upcoming shows. The nation's ecstasy dealers have yet to issue a statement in response.

Film: Scenic Routes:Children Of Men

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 12:00:00 -0600

Back in the late 1940s, Alfred Hitchcock, perhaps still addled from the war, came up with one of the all-time stupid movie ideas: shooting an entire feature that appears to be a single continuous take. At that time, of course, actually doing so was impossible—film cameras were decidedly analog, and could only shoot for about 10 minutes before the magazine had to be reloaded. Nor was digital compositing available to Hitch, which meant that he had no choice but to hide his cuts by clumsily zooming into an actor’s suit jacket for no apparent reason. Rope remains somewhat ...

Film: The A.V. Club Blog:ZMF WAS HERE

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 11:22:00 -0600

Like many of you, we here at The A.V. Club were never really holding our collective breath in hopes of actually meeting our most (in)famous commenter, ZODIAC MOTHERFUCKER, in person. We figured that his many comments and occasional e-mails and voicemail messages would be the only evidence of his existence. Last month, he came to Chicago and supposedly stopped by our office on a Saturday, when none of us were here. (Though he tagged a mirror at the bar on the corner as proof of his existence.) So when he e-mailed to say that he was taking a ...

Features: Red Meat:November 23, 2009

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 10:43:00 -0600

TV: Hater:Award Shows You Didn't Know (Or Care) Existed

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 10:32:00 -0600

It's the end of the year, which means that at any given moment someone is being handed an award for something–because, you know, it's the end of the year, and there's all this airtime to fill, and people like awards shows, right? Well, that's not exactly true. People don't like the actual awards shows nearly as much as they like criticizing and making fun of awards shows with a group of people. But while the big, significant awards shows (like the Oscars) or the big awards shows that think they're significant (The Golden ...

Film: Newswire:Weekend Box Office: The sparkling vampire

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 08:48:00 -0600

With resounding force, The Twilight Saga: New Moon affirmed this weekend what Titanic, Backstreet Boys, and Shaun Cassidy did before it: Pre-teen girls are an unstoppable market force. Despite generally poor reviews—which would dissuade approximately 0% of the series’ fans anyway—New Moon enjoyed the third highest opening weekend ever with $140.7 million, second only to The Dark Knight and Spider-Man 3. That accomplishment is all the more impressive when you consider that it more than doubled its predecessor Twilight’s opening frame from a year before and it only cost $50 million to produce. (More fun facts ...

TV: The Simpsons, The Cleveland Show, Family Guy, American Dad:"Pranks and Greens"/"A Brown Thanksgiving"/"Jerome Is the New Black"/"My Morning Straitjacket"

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 05:20:00 -0600

It was an evening of odd characters wandering into the lives of our favorite Fox animated characters, of new mentors and crazy friends. It was also an evening of half-hearted social messages, occasional holiday references and assorted speeches about someone getting their life back on track. Also, two of the shows had a gag about someone getting stuck underneath a pool cover, though, to be fair, when it was Seymour Skinner, he was trapped under there with a bunch of worms. While it wasn't the best week of shows this season, none of the shows was horrendously bad either ...

TV: Dexter:"Hungry Man"

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 01:24:00 -0600

So, listen, Dexter fans. That episode was a big step up from the last couple of go nowhere bore fests, but that final twist was completely ludicrous. When some of you were saying in comments how obvious it was that the reporter was behind the shootings of Deb and Lundy, I didn't want to believe you because a.) it sounded stupid and b.) I have a vested interest in journalists being portrayed as non-serial killers. But the more you guys argued for that point, I realized that was the case. I was prepared to find out that she was ...

TV: Other Shows:"Metalocalypse: Dethhealth"

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 00:25:00 -0600

Hi ho, regular jackoffs! If you're reading this, you're probably one of the people who's asked us to do regular coverage of Brendon Small & Tommy Blacha's totally metal animated sitcom Metalocalypse. We're not quite there yet, but we figured that since the show has made a major shift (from a 15-minute mini-sitcom to a full-length half-hour show), we'd dip in and write up an episode and see where it goes from here. Frankly, I'm not sure what to wish for: I love the show, but it's also on really late at night ...

TV: The Venture Bros.:"Self-Medication"

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 00:23:00 -0600

The "let's begin in the middle of a standard-seeming action sequence" opening is a much-loved Venture Bros. standard by now, and "Self-Medication" goes at it with the gusto you'd expect. The doc is being menaced by the Monarch and his floating cocoon, things are at their worst, and then Rusty's alarm goes off, and he's got a therapy appointment to go to. This is not really surprising; nor is the revelation that there's a new clause in Guild contracts that allows time off for mental health issues. Monarch isn't very happy about it (we ...

Games: Feature:The 15 best videogames of the ’00s

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 00:01:00 -0600

We keep coming back to videogames for the same reasons we always have. Or do we? Games in 2009 look considerably different now than they did in 2000, and not just because the graphics have improved. What was once a lonely pursuit has gotten social, whether by way of a party-friendly round of Rock Band or a late-night online session of Modern Warfare. The thrills have gotten more complicated, too. Even the shoot-’em-ups aren’t just about shooting ’em up anymore. (Or at least not shooting ’em up without some careful planning.) As the ’00s close, The A.V ...

Games: Review:Assassin’s Creed II

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0600

The original Assassin’s Creed was an overly ambitious hodgepodge of gameplay ideas that never really cohered into a singular, compelling experience. The sequel gets off to a not-so-promising start, thanks to its dull science-fiction meta-narrative. The gist: the palooka-faced bartender from the first game is once again strapped into a machine called an Animus, which allows him to enter the virtual realities of his assassin ancestors. This meta-narrative largely involves Kristen Bell and Nolan North (Nathan Drake from the Uncharted series) trading self-important lines of dialogue. But once the game shifts milieus to Renaissance-era Florence and you step into ...

Games: Review:Phantasy Star 0

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0600

Game developers take a few shortcuts here and there. That isn’t necessarily bad; so long as players aren’t made aware, they’ll ignore the occasional repeat background or suspiciously recolored enemy. But Phantasy Star 0, ostensibly a story-based RPG, recycles almost everything, from quests down to character types, and couples those repetitive elements with one of the most complex gameplay explanations known to man. So not only is it difficult to get going, the reward is a little enjoyable slashing, a lot of head-scratching, and an overwhelming feeling of déjà vu. Like its predecessors, Phantasy Star 0 ...

Music: Inventory:Ça plane pour wha?: 19 foreign phrases we wouldn’t know without pop songs

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0600

1. “Ça plane pour moi” (French slang, “This works for me”): Plastic Bertrand, “Ça Plane Pour Moi” Plastic Bertrand’s 1977 hit “Ça Plane Pour Moi” is almost certainly the only instance of a song cut in English that then became a bigger hit recorded in French. It followed an odd path from one language to another, beginning life as the 1977 Elton Motello song “Jet Boy, Jet Girl.” That song’s frank, homoerotic lyric about sadomasochistic underage sex pretty much assured it wouldn’t get much radio play—“I’d like to hit him on the head until he ...

Games: Sawbuck Gamer:November 23, 2009

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0600

Broken Legs Creator: Sarah Morayati Platforms: Mac, PC, Linux (interactive fiction interpreter required) Price: Free A theater brat with delusions of grandeur isn’t anyone’s idea of a sympathetic protagonist, so feel free to hate Lottie Plum, the prepubescent whelp of a songstress you play in Broken Legs, which won second place in the 2009 Interactive Fiction Competition. Author Sarah Morayati channels a pageant princess’ soul in her prose, bringing life to six girls who are auditioning to enter Bridger, a performance academy for precocious young starlets. The atmosphere of petulant backbiting among the passive-aggressive (and aggressive-aggressive) personalities is ...