60http://tv.theonion.com/en-us2008 The Onion, Inc.noThe Onion News Network is the 24-hour cable TV news choice for billions of viewers in 811 countries. Now the hard-hitting, award-winning news you need is available anytime and anywhere you want. Subscribe and watch right now.The Onion News Network is the 24-hour cable TV news choice for billions of viewers in 811 countries. Now the hard-hitting, award-winning news you need is available anytime and anywhere you want. Subscribe and watch right now.2008 The Onion, Inc.ComedyThe Onion News Network is the 24-hour cable TV news choice for billions of viewers in 811 countries. Now the hard-hitting, award-winning news you need is available anytime and anywhere you want. Subscribe and watch right now.http://tv.theonion.comhttp://www.theonion.com/content/themes/onion/assets/onn/itunes_med.jpgThe OnionPanelists discuss the alarming trend of politicians who break their promises to the lobbyists who helped elect them.YesWed, 14 May 2008 19:00:00 EDThttp://www.theonion.com/content/node/79347<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=cXJy3H"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=cXJy3H" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=wxgQgh"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=wxgQgh" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/291217222" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/291217222/79347http://www.theonion.com/content/node/79347http://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos2.theonion.com%2Fonion%2Fonion_video%2F2008%2F05%2F15%2FLOBBYIST_MONEY_ITUNES.mp4&title=In+The+Know%3A+Are+Politicians+Failing+Our+Lobbyists%3F&issue=The OnionThe Blockbuster Video Living Museum offers tourists a glimpse of how Americans rented movies in the days before Netflix and iTunes.YesMon, 12 May 2008 19:00:00 EDThttp://www.theonion.com/content/node/79397<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=lsUhJH"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=lsUhJH" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=idHWbh"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=idHWbh" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/288968684" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/288968684/79397http://www.theonion.com/content/node/79397http://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos2.theonion.com%2Fonion%2Fonion_video%2F2008%2F05%2F13%2FVIDEO_STORE_ITUNES.mp4&title=Historic+Blockbuster+Store+Offers+Glimpse+Of+How+Movies+Were+Rented+In+The+Past&issue=The OnionToday Now! utilizes computer technology to show a mother how rampant drug use and prostitution has ravaged her little girl's body.YesWed, 7 May 2008 19:00:00 EDThttp://www.theonion.com/content/node/79157<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=nsBRIH"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=nsBRIH" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=g5btWh"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=g5btWh" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/285641419" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/285641419/79157http://www.theonion.com/content/node/79157http://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos2.theonion.com%2Fonion%2Fonion_video%2F2008%2F05%2F08%2FAGE_PROGRESSION_ITUNES.mp4&title=Age-Progression+Technology+Indicates+Missing+Child+A+Prostitute+By+Now&issue=The OnionJohn McCain claims that if elected he would save taxpayers millions by eliminating the Secret Service and defending himself instead.YesMon, 5 May 2008 19:00:00 EDThttp://www.theonion.com/content/node/79055<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=aLj64H"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=aLj64H" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=u18Gkh"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=u18Gkh" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/284214188" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/284214188/79055http://www.theonion.com/content/node/79055http://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos2.theonion.com%2Fonion%2Fonion_video%2F2008%2F05%2F06%2FMCCAIN_SS_ITUNES.mp4&title=McCain+Vows+To+Replace+Secret+Service+With+His+Own+Bare+Fists&issue=The OnionTwo astronauts on the International Space Station display courage, honor, and squeaky voices as they struggle to patch a deadly helium leak.YesWed, 30 Apr 2008 17:27:02 EDThttp://www.theonion.com/content/node/78564<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=rfhYMG"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=rfhYMG" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=tqlxGg"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=tqlxGg" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/281178834" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/281178834/78564http://www.theonion.com/content/node/78564http://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2008%2F05%2F01%2FHELIUM_ITUNES.mp4&title=Astronauts+Suffer+Agonizing%2C+High-Pitched+Death+After+Helium+Leak&issue=The OnionThe Miami Dolphins have drafted NHL star Alexander Ovechkin, making his dream to play professional sports a reality.YesMon, 28 Apr 2008 19:00:00 EDThttp://www.theonion.com/content/node/78477<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=GmOPbG"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=GmOPbG" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=uUYn2g"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=uUYn2g" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/279658102" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/279658102/78477http://www.theonion.com/content/node/78477http://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2008%2F04%2F29%2FNFL-NHL_ITUNES.mp4&title=NHL+Star+Called+Up+To+Big+Leagues+To+Play+For+NFL+Team&issue=The OnionA survey by the Shuttleworth Research Center found that the majority of male roommates ages 18-24 got wasted off their asses the previous evening.YesMon, 21 Apr 2008 19:00:00 EDThttp://www.theonion.com/content/node/78049<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=mq844sG"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=mq844sG" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=ctn2SOg"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=ctn2SOg" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/274990803" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/274990803/78049http://www.theonion.com/content/node/78049http://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2008%2F04%2F22%2FROOMMATE_STUDY_ITUNES.mp4&title=Study%3A+Nearly+80+Percent+Of+Roommates+Got+So+Drunk+Last+Night&issue=The OnionRep. William Cummings (D-VA) defends his use of the slang word "pronk" as a legitimate catchphrase.YesWed, 16 Apr 2008 19:00:00 EDThttp://www.theonion.com/content/node/77720<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=hIcnQEG"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=hIcnQEG" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=BXZff8g"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=BXZff8g" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/271755599" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/271755599/77720http://www.theonion.com/content/node/77720http://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2008%2F04%2F17%2FCATCHPHRASE_ITUNES.mp4&title=Congress+Debates+Merits+Of+New+Catchphrase&issue=The OnionFans are worried that the feature film adaptation of the beloved trailer won't live up to the original 90-second story's vision.YesMon, 14 Apr 2008 19:00:00 EDThttp://www.theonion.com/content/node/77653<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=4mJqU8G"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=4mJqU8G" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=HYTVzcg"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=HYTVzcg" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/270264774" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/270264774/77653http://www.theonion.com/content/node/77653http://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2008%2F04%2F15%2FPOPULAR_TRAILER_ITUNES.mp4&title=Wildly+Popular+%27Iron+Man%27+Trailer+To+Be+Adapted+Into+Full-Length+Film&issue=The OnionNew security measures put in place to allay terror fears are threatening to drive suspicious package retailers out of business.YesWed, 9 Apr 2008 19:00:00 EDThttp://www.theonion.com/content/node/77269<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=kQ1m1YG"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=kQ1m1YG" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=H1bIRNg"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=H1bIRNg" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/267287711" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/267287711/77269http://www.theonion.com/content/node/77269http://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2008%2F04%2F10%2FSUSPICIOUS_PACKAGES_ITUNES.mp4&title=Suspicious+Package+Industry+Falls+On+Hard+Times&issue=The OnionMedia speculation is rampant over what exciting action sequences and romantic subplots the hikers may be experiencing if they are still alive.YesMon, 7 Apr 2008 19:00:00 EDThttp://www.theonion.com/content/node/77187<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=G52Bp0G"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=G52Bp0G" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=6c7eGtg"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=6c7eGtg" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/265932840" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/265932840/77187http://www.theonion.com/content/node/77187http://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2008%2F04%2F08%2FMISSING_HIKERS_ITUNES.mp4&title=Plight+Of+Missing+Hikers+Will+Make+Great+Movie&issue=The OnionThe FDA is urging all Americans in possession of flaky, delicious pot pies to turn them in to FDA headquarters as soon as possible.YesWed, 2 Apr 2008 19:00:00 EDThttp://www.theonion.com/content/node/76796<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=EX0kMuG"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=EX0kMuG" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=p67fMag"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=p67fMag" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/262922008" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/262922008/76796http://www.theonion.com/content/node/76796http://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2008%2F04%2F03%2FPOT_PIES_ITUNES.mp4&title=Hungry+FDA+Official+Orders+Massive+Pot+Pie+Recall&issue=The OnionAn Al Qaeda representative says that claims the U.S. government was behind the attacks on Sept. 11th are demeaning to Al Qaeda.YesMon, 31 Mar 2008 19:14:30 EDThttp://www.theonion.com/content/node/76782<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=lhF30DF"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=lhF30DF" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=hkfZ7kf"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=hkfZ7kf" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/261542975" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/261542975/76782http://www.theonion.com/content/node/76782http://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2008%2F04%2F01%2FCONSPIRACY_THEORY_ITUNES.mp4&title=911+Conspiracy+Theories+%27Ridiculous%2C%27+Al+Qaeda+Says&issue=The OnionTracy Gill talks with the author of a new book about the morning show diva we all love to hate: Tracy Gill.YesWed, 26 Mar 2008 19:00:00 EDThttp://www.theonion.com/content/node/76349<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=KU8lFgF"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=KU8lFgF" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=qK4k1of"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=qK4k1of" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/258597316" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/258597316/76349http://www.theonion.com/content/node/76349http://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2008%2F03%2F27%2FANCHOR_BIO_ITUNES.mp4&title=Today+Now%21+Host+Tracy+Gill+Recommends+New+Tracy+Gill+Biography&issue=The OnionChina revels in a UN report that found it has the highest smog levels in the world, a sure sign of Chinas progress and prosperity.YesMon, 24 Mar 2008 19:00:00 EDThttp://www.theonion.com/content/node/76325<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=6Qd4OiF"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=6Qd4OiF" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=LZTwF8f"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=LZTwF8f" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/257290493" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/257290493/76325http://www.theonion.com/content/node/76325http://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2008%2F03%2F25%2FCHINA_POLLUTION_ITUNES.mp4&title=China+Celebrates+Its+Status+As+Worlds+Number+One+Air+Polluter&issue=The OnionPress Secretary Ted Barrett deflects questions about the gruesome car wreck that killed his wife hours ago in order to focus on the President's agenda.YesWed, 19 Mar 2008 19:00:00 EDThttp://www.theonion.com/content/node/76144<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=5YJPEKF"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=5YJPEKF" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=KjFjXSf"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=KjFjXSf" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/254557575" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/254557575/76144http://www.theonion.com/content/node/76144http://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2008%2F03%2F20%2FWIFE_DEAD_ITUNES.mp4&title=White+House+Press+Secretary+Spins+Wifes+Tragic+Death+As+A+Positive&issue=The OnionGirls between the ages of 8 and 14 spent the day helping their parents fight insurgents and defuse mines.YesMon, 17 Mar 2008 19:30:00 EDThttp://www.theonion.com/content/node/76060<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=Ge4TBqF"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=Ge4TBqF" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=QQWqLVf"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=QQWqLVf" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/253261814" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/253261814/76060http://www.theonion.com/content/node/76060http://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2008%2F03%2F18%2FDAUGHTER_TO_WAR_ITUNES.mp4&title=Army+Holds+Annual+%27Bring+Your+Daughter+To+War%27+Day&issue=The OnionA congressional committee discussing Iraq War casualty levels approves of the tasty chips and salsa Rep. Benjamin Sinclair (R-OH) brought to the hearing.YesTue, 11 Mar 2008 14:46:46 EDThttp://www.theonion.com/content/node/75769<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=lFq308F"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=lFq308F" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=d8yWeHf"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=d8yWeHf" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/250365446" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/250365446/75769http://www.theonion.com/content/node/75769http://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2008%2F03%2F13%2FCHIPS_SALSA_ITUNES.mp4&title=Delicious+Snacks+Distract+Congressmen+From+Horrors+Of+War&issue=The OnionHospital officials hope to locate the good Samaritan that dropped offa sack of human organs in the middle of the night so they can thankhim.YesMon, 10 Mar 2008 19:00:00 EDThttp://www.theonion.com/content/node/75552<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=IHq1oiF"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=IHq1oiF" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=v80Zmef"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=v80Zmef" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/249131490" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/249131490/75552http://www.theonion.com/content/node/75552http://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2008%2F03%2F11%2F200_KIDNEYS_ITUNES.mp4&title=Anonymous+Philanthropist+Donates+200+Human+Kidneys+To+Hospital&issue=The OnionAn FCC official clarifies new broadcasting regulations that clear the way for more nude scenes featuring the beautiful, auburn-haired Alyson Hannigan.YesMon, 3 Mar 2008 21:54:20 ESThttp://www.theonion.com/content/node/75143<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=5zO3MrF"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=5zO3MrF" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=ij3IYxf"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=ij3IYxf" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/245131598" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/245131598/75143http://www.theonion.com/content/node/75143http://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2008%2F03%2F04%2FALYSON_HANNIGAN_ITUNES.mp4&title=FCC+Okays+Nudity+On+TV+If+Its+Alyson+Hannigan&issue=The OnionPanelists discuss ways to wage a greener war in Iraq, such as driving biodegradable tanks and shocking detainees' testicles with wind power.YesWed, 27 Feb 2008 15:32:30 ESThttp://www.theonion.com/content/node/74776<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=8cx2LnE"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=8cx2LnE" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=4iewqse"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=4iewqse" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/242384462" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/242384462/74776http://www.theonion.com/content/node/74776http://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2008%2F02%2F28%2FGREEN_ARMY_ITUNES.mp4&title=In+The+Know%3A+How+Can+We+Make+The+War+In+Iraq+More+Eco-Friendly%3F&issue=The OnionEmbarrassed Diebold officials apologized after one of their electronic voting machines prematurely revealed the winner of our upcoming sham election.YesMon, 25 Feb 2008 17:36:58 ESThttp://www.theonion.com/content/node/74800<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=kFYjHME"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=kFYjHME" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=xclCqDe"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=xclCqDe" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/241134976" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/241134976/74800http://www.theonion.com/content/node/74800http://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2008%2F02%2F26%2FDIEBOLD_ITUNES.mp4&title=Diebold+Accidentally+Leaks+Results+Of+2008+Election+Early&issue=The OnionThe Department Of Transportation unveiled a new mandatory safety system designed to protect American drivers by keeping Nick Nolte off the road.YesWed, 20 Feb 2008 18:00:00 ESThttp://www.theonion.com/content/node/74360<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=zYgJDrE"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=zYgJDrE" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=niiksie"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=niiksie" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/238434005" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/238434005/74360http://www.theonion.com/content/node/74360http://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2008%2F02%2F21%2FNICK_NOLTE_ITUNES.mp4&title=New+Auto+Security+System+Will+Not+Allow+Car+To+Start+If+Driver+Is+Nick+Nolte&issue=The OnionThe United States gave billions of dollars in aid to the wealthy European principality of Andorra, which it mistakenly assumed was a poor African country.YesMon, 18 Feb 2008 18:30:00 ESThttp://www.theonion.com/content/node/74358<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=3V6JVhE"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=3V6JVhE" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?a=kE0MVte"><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~f/OnionNewsNetwork?i=kE0MVte" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/237214059" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/237214059/74358http://www.theonion.com/content/node/74358http://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2008%2F02%2F19%2FAID_TO_ANDORRA_ITUNES.mp4&title=Nation+Of+Andorra+Not+In+Africa%2C+Shocked+U.S.+State+Dept.+Reports&issue=nonadult