60http://tv.theonion.com/en-us2009 The Onion, Inc.noThe Onion News Network is the 24-hour cable TV news choice for billions of viewers in 811 countries. Now the hard-hitting, award-winning news you need is available anytime and anywhere you want. Subscribe and watch right now.The Onion News Network is the 24-hour cable TV news choice for billions of viewers in 811 countries. Now the hard-hitting, award-winning news you need is available anytime and anywhere you want. Subscribe and watch right now.2009 The Onion, Inc.ComedyThe Onion News Network is the 24-hour cable TV news choice for billions of viewers in 811 countries. Now the hard-hitting, award-winning news you need is available anytime and anywhere you want. Subscribe and watch right now.http://tv.theonion.comhttp://www.theonion.com/content/themes/onion/assets/onn/itunes_med.jpgThe OnionSupporters of the Pentagon's Dragon Tank urge Obama to reconsider the fearsome power of titanium nostrils mounted with long-range flamethrowers.YesMon, 13 Jul 2009 20:00:01 EDT/content/video/obama_axes_pentagon_plan_to_build<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/ricBnY4RL0l7BVu7tO8Oc9WTsks/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/ricBnY4RL0l7BVu7tO8Oc9WTsks/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/ricBnY4RL0l7BVu7tO8Oc9WTsks/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/ricBnY4RL0l7BVu7tO8Oc9WTsks/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=PYdashGiYvA:2bjH-1VTNzY:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=PYdashGiYvA:2bjH-1VTNzY:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=PYdashGiYvA:2bjH-1VTNzY:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/nIV9WpX_bp0" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/nIV9WpX_bp0/obama_axes_pentagon_plan_to_buildhttp://tv.theonion.com/content/video/obama_axes_pentagon_plan_to_buildhttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2009%2F07%2F14%2FDRAGON_TANK_ITUNES.mp4&title=Obama+Axes+Pentagon+Plan+To+Build+Billion+Dollar+Tank+In+Shape+Of+Dragon&issue=4529The OnionIn The Know's new live internet poll feature revolutionizes how pundits shamelessly cater to what viewers want to hear.YesThu, 9 Jul 2009 11:00:28 EDT/content/video/new_live_poll_allows_pundits_to<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/AremFDrxXzRAp3e7rMIc3twilpY/0/da"><img 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width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/qI_evVq8Akw/new_live_poll_allows_pundits_tohttp://tv.theonion.com/content/video/new_live_poll_allows_pundits_tohttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2009%2F07%2F09%2FLIVE_POLL_ITUNES.mp4&title=New+Live+Poll+Allows+Pundits+To+Pander+To+Viewers+In+Real+Time&issue=4528The OnionCitizens across Mexico hope that the new Asshole Wall will stem the tide of assholes that visit from the US each year to aggressively drink, vomit.YesMon, 6 Jul 2009 18:00:21 EDT/content/video/mexico_builds_border_wall_to_keep<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/-BBfUD5dyEi09eQsfUOseft4VeA/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/-BBfUD5dyEi09eQsfUOseft4VeA/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/-BBfUD5dyEi09eQsfUOseft4VeA/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/-BBfUD5dyEi09eQsfUOseft4VeA/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=liNvCs4aWGI:rvYSMY6_EYI:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=liNvCs4aWGI:rvYSMY6_EYI:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=liNvCs4aWGI:rvYSMY6_EYI:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/C0-wdhwAovU" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/C0-wdhwAovU/mexico_builds_border_wall_to_keephttp://tv.theonion.com/content/video/mexico_builds_border_wall_to_keephttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2009%2F07%2F07%2FASSHOLE_WALL_ITUNES.mp4&title=Mexico+Builds+Border+Wall+To+Keep+Out+US+Assholes&issue=4528The OnionTaco Bell boasts zero environmental impact with their new menu which will rely solely on synthetic, lab-produced ingredients.YesMon, 29 Jun 2009 18:00:42 EDT/content/video/taco_bells_new_green_menu_takes<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/PSsiGYEUvgAjz88x7AGVlUnGw1I/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/PSsiGYEUvgAjz88x7AGVlUnGw1I/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/PSsiGYEUvgAjz88x7AGVlUnGw1I/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/PSsiGYEUvgAjz88x7AGVlUnGw1I/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=ldzJUKThT1c:u4Vtm0GQajo:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=ldzJUKThT1c:u4Vtm0GQajo:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=ldzJUKThT1c:u4Vtm0GQajo:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/hCcUizHXHRc" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/hCcUizHXHRc/taco_bells_new_green_menu_takeshttp://tv.theonion.com/content/video/taco_bells_new_green_menu_takeshttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2009%2F06%2F30%2FGREEN_MENU_ITUNES.mp4&title=Taco+Bell%27s+New+Green+Menu+Takes+No+Ingredients+From+Nature&issue=4527The OnionThe President says the purpose of the performance reviews is to have a little face time to make sure we're all on the same page going forward.YesWed, 24 Jun 2009 20:00:05 EDT/content/video/obama_to_hold_job_performance<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/4fOtQsYyIS4mOFunZO9B3RH55Hc/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/4fOtQsYyIS4mOFunZO9B3RH55Hc/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/4fOtQsYyIS4mOFunZO9B3RH55Hc/1/da"><img 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width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/ovXCS-lxMLk/obama_to_hold_job_performancehttp://tv.theonion.com/content/video/obama_to_hold_job_performancehttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2009%2F06%2F25%2FOBAMA_PERFORMANCE_ITUNES.mp4&title=Obama+To+Hold+Job+Performance+Review+With+Every+American+Worker&issue=4526The OnionTreasury officials say the gold has just been in the bottom of some vaults at the US Bullion Depository anyway, and the government needs the money NOW.YesFri, 19 Jun 2009 20:00:41 EDT/content/video/us_to_trade_gold_reserves_for<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/xrVVyX-kP8R5rsW41aIgDTAdXgw/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/xrVVyX-kP8R5rsW41aIgDTAdXgw/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/xrVVyX-kP8R5rsW41aIgDTAdXgw/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/xrVVyX-kP8R5rsW41aIgDTAdXgw/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=NPLCMRNYGes:syFf-xzso_8:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=NPLCMRNYGes:syFf-xzso_8:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=NPLCMRNYGes:syFf-xzso_8:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/4yc4jv3cL1Y" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/4yc4jv3cL1Y/us_to_trade_gold_reserves_forhttp://tv.theonion.com/content/video/us_to_trade_gold_reserves_forhttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2009%2F06%2F19%2FCASH4GOLD_ITUNES.mp4&title=US+To+Trade+Gold+Reserves+For+Cash+Through+Cash4Gold.com&issue=4525The OnionAfter gym doctors confirmed the injuries were career-ending, Johnson's trainers said there was no reason to keep her alive.YesMon, 15 Jun 2009 18:02:42 EDT/content/video/gymnast_shawn_johnson_put_to<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/_ulhIaPYeCnLBjAxTfXpEfuENfU/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/_ulhIaPYeCnLBjAxTfXpEfuENfU/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/_ulhIaPYeCnLBjAxTfXpEfuENfU/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/_ulhIaPYeCnLBjAxTfXpEfuENfU/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=PpbkVY7XZPI:31bscLI4-FA:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=PpbkVY7XZPI:31bscLI4-FA:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=PpbkVY7XZPI:31bscLI4-FA:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/S_jmhZ0uICU" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/S_jmhZ0uICU/gymnast_shawn_johnson_put_tohttp://tv.theonion.com/content/video/gymnast_shawn_johnson_put_tohttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2009%2F06%2F16%2FGYMNAST_EUTHANIZED_ITUNES.mp4&title=Gymnast+Shawn+Johnson+Put+To+Sleep+After+Breaking+Leg&issue=4525The OnionRep. McCullough cannot even fathom the amount of contempt you'd have to hold for Congress, the American people to do something so inconsiderate.YesThu, 11 Jun 2009 11:00:37 EDT/content/video/congressman_demands_to_know_who<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/t44WkFKCVR5wRIIrTeUyJuZlIDc/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/t44WkFKCVR5wRIIrTeUyJuZlIDc/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/t44WkFKCVR5wRIIrTeUyJuZlIDc/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/t44WkFKCVR5wRIIrTeUyJuZlIDc/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=AA4e0uNIX6M:6mr3v25Mapk:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=AA4e0uNIX6M:6mr3v25Mapk:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=AA4e0uNIX6M:6mr3v25Mapk:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/keKHgup-A5Q" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/keKHgup-A5Q/congressman_demands_to_know_whohttp://tv.theonion.com/content/video/congressman_demands_to_know_whohttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2009%2F06%2F11%2FFISH_SANDWICH_ITUNES.mp4&title=Congressman+Demands+To+Know+Who+Left+Fish+Sandwich+To+Rot+On+House+Floor&issue=4524The OnionObama will abandon complex policies on emissions, clean coal and refocus on achievable goals like applying deodorant daily, learning what to say when you burp.YesMon, 8 Jun 2009 18:00:33 EDT/content/video/obama_drastically_scales_back<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/CmKXE-Mj5PTDPd1mUvaer1KmxZc/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/CmKXE-Mj5PTDPd1mUvaer1KmxZc/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/CmKXE-Mj5PTDPd1mUvaer1KmxZc/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/CmKXE-Mj5PTDPd1mUvaer1KmxZc/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=QFiiCYlJK_s:pXt3gIN9-XY:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=QFiiCYlJK_s:pXt3gIN9-XY:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=QFiiCYlJK_s:pXt3gIN9-XY:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/ej9DbPkDImg" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/ej9DbPkDImg/obama_drastically_scales_backhttp://tv.theonion.com/content/video/obama_drastically_scales_backhttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2009%2F06%2F09%2FDENNYS_OBAMA_ITUNES.mp4&title=Obama+Drastically+Scales+Back+Goals+For+America+After+Visiting+Denny%27s&issue=4524The OnionDesigned with the frustrated, sleep-deprived parent in mind, the BabySafe Ball can withstand shaking, stabbing, and claims you wish it'd never been born.YesThu, 4 Jun 2009 13:00:21 EDT/content/video/new_babysafe_ball_makes_shaking<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/f0HMbub-3wqj2j2DyhfBEd3muu4/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/f0HMbub-3wqj2j2DyhfBEd3muu4/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/f0HMbub-3wqj2j2DyhfBEd3muu4/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/f0HMbub-3wqj2j2DyhfBEd3muu4/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=tjx7cWcwuZc:oSwtRcSGxo8:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=tjx7cWcwuZc:oSwtRcSGxo8:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=tjx7cWcwuZc:oSwtRcSGxo8:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/PanVUhxr6Ic" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/PanVUhxr6Ic/new_babysafe_ball_makes_shakinghttp://tv.theonion.com/content/video/new_babysafe_ball_makes_shakinghttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2009%2F06%2F02%2FBABY_ORB_ITUNES.mp4&title=New+BabySafe+Ball+Makes+Shaking+Your+Infant+Guilt+And+Injury+Free&issue=4523The OnionRep. Iscoe warns gays will give penises to lesbians who will give them vaginas so that homosexuals can marry and continue their attack on the American family.YesMon, 1 Jun 2009 19:00:00 EDT/content/video/conservatives_warn_quick_sex<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/gOOrVGaJ4YVje2zF6obXG3leFfU/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/gOOrVGaJ4YVje2zF6obXG3leFfU/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/gOOrVGaJ4YVje2zF6obXG3leFfU/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/gOOrVGaJ4YVje2zF6obXG3leFfU/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=0DC810zCk_M:qntEpUK0B7w:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=0DC810zCk_M:qntEpUK0B7w:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=0DC810zCk_M:qntEpUK0B7w:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/5nRs2g6Dzwg" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/5nRs2g6Dzwg/conservatives_warn_quick_sexhttp://tv.theonion.com/content/video/conservatives_warn_quick_sexhttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2009%2F06%2F04%2FTRANNY_LOOPHOLE_ITUNES.mp4&title=Conservatives+Warn+Quick+Sex+Change+Only+Barrier+Between+Gays%2C+Marriage&issue=4523The OnionHost becomes curiously pushy, sweaty in this roundtable discussion about loopholes in manslaughter law in the US.YesThu, 28 May 2009 11:00:25 EDT/content/video/political_talk_show_host_suddenly<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/TvwhEXQPORC1PLAVbMIcpUo-jeY/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/TvwhEXQPORC1PLAVbMIcpUo-jeY/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/TvwhEXQPORC1PLAVbMIcpUo-jeY/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/TvwhEXQPORC1PLAVbMIcpUo-jeY/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=SbHjQbjMGmk:J9pX2Ny76y8:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=SbHjQbjMGmk:J9pX2Ny76y8:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=SbHjQbjMGmk:J9pX2Ny76y8:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/_qAut8u96Rw" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/_qAut8u96Rw/political_talk_show_host_suddenlyhttp://tv.theonion.com/content/video/political_talk_show_host_suddenlyhttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2009%2F05%2F28%2FMANSLAUGHTER_ITUNES.mp4&title=Political+Talk+Show+Host+Suddenly+Very+Interested+In+Manslaughter+Law+Loopholes&issue=4522The OnionGirlfriends' spokesperson Kelly Ambrose joins us in the Financial Fallout Shelter to discuss why Boyfriends moving in with them just makes fiscal sense right now.YesMon, 25 May 2009 20:00:04 EDT/content/video/nations_girlfriends_unveil_new<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/lclbDOwCSgGQ1-lC7aKYk5Ag_qM/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/lclbDOwCSgGQ1-lC7aKYk5Ag_qM/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/lclbDOwCSgGQ1-lC7aKYk5Ag_qM/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/lclbDOwCSgGQ1-lC7aKYk5Ag_qM/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=4LfofsL9VdU:gEKtwPG2szc:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=4LfofsL9VdU:gEKtwPG2szc:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=4LfofsL9VdU:gEKtwPG2szc:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/2tVEzcy1QKU" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/2tVEzcy1QKU/nations_girlfriends_unveil_newhttp://tv.theonion.com/content/video/nations_girlfriends_unveil_newhttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2009%2F05%2F26%2FNATIONS_GIRLFRIENDS_ITUNES.mp4&title=Nation%27s+Girlfriends+Unveil+New+Economic+Plan%3A+%27Let%27s+Move+In+Together%27&issue=4522The OnionHockey officials hope to attract fans and create a higher-scoring, fast-paced game with a new aerodynamic puck and artificial turf instead of ice.YesWed, 20 May 2009 16:30:37 EDT/content/video/nhl_tries_to_woo_fans_by<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/Lnutjc80ylr3QEuKjkU28Peb21s/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/Lnutjc80ylr3QEuKjkU28Peb21s/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/Lnutjc80ylr3QEuKjkU28Peb21s/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/Lnutjc80ylr3QEuKjkU28Peb21s/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=gLAecVQuG8g:uxyf4Uva9Tc:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=gLAecVQuG8g:uxyf4Uva9Tc:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=gLAecVQuG8g:uxyf4Uva9Tc:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/mAxitOLABL8" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/mAxitOLABL8/nhl_tries_to_woo_fans_byhttp://tv.theonion.com/content/video/nhl_tries_to_woo_fans_byhttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2009%2F05%2F21%2FNHL_EXPERIMENT_ITUNES.mp4&title=NHL+Tries+To+Woo+Fans+By+Increasing+Scoring+With+Bigger+Nets%2C+3-Point+Line&issue=4521The OnionThe fire was ruled an accident after a tedious review of thousands of digital photos documenting every second of the five hour party.YesMon, 18 May 2009 20:00:36 EDT/content/video/police_slog_through_40_000<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/gJgKvqzTouX94L_iHIWApf-If38/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/gJgKvqzTouX94L_iHIWApf-If38/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/gJgKvqzTouX94L_iHIWApf-If38/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/gJgKvqzTouX94L_iHIWApf-If38/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=00F1Uu9exkQ:q-qbmkncSKo:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=00F1Uu9exkQ:q-qbmkncSKo:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=00F1Uu9exkQ:q-qbmkncSKo:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/Tra9wgwj6Tg" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/Tra9wgwj6Tg/police_slog_through_40_000http://tv.theonion.com/content/video/police_slog_through_40_000http://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2009%2F05%2F19%2FAPARTMENT_FIRES_ITUNES.mp4&title=Police+Slog+Through+40%2C000+Insipid+Party+Pics+To+Find+Cause+Of+Dorm+Fire&issue=4521The OnionCongressman Eisley conducts hearing on Market Data Protection Reform, restrains self from murdering five year old son.YesWed, 13 May 2009 18:30:32 EDT/content/video/congressmans_son_wont_shut_the<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/Aqsljdnc18wtV-uXKY1AGprg-6w/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/Aqsljdnc18wtV-uXKY1AGprg-6w/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/Aqsljdnc18wtV-uXKY1AGprg-6w/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/Aqsljdnc18wtV-uXKY1AGprg-6w/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=MxjW6bNZX3A:kn-fRvCDzaE:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=MxjW6bNZX3A:kn-fRvCDzaE:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=MxjW6bNZX3A:kn-fRvCDzaE:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/Y84Uu-_t_0U" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/Y84Uu-_t_0U/congressmans_son_wont_shut_thehttp://tv.theonion.com/content/video/congressmans_son_wont_shut_thehttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2009%2F05%2F14%2FKID_IN_COMMITTEE_ITUNES.mp4&title=Congressman%27s+Son+Won%27t+Shut+The+Hell+Up+During+Hearing&issue=4520The OnionAppointed by Bush in 2003 to distract from the horrors of war, Liberty's antics turned fatal yesterday when he cart-wheeled into a roadside bomb.YesMon, 11 May 2009 20:00:23 EDT/content/video/pentagon_reports_army_mascot<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/XtWU3Fa1GXNb43BqRm5IO30SRys/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/XtWU3Fa1GXNb43BqRm5IO30SRys/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/XtWU3Fa1GXNb43BqRm5IO30SRys/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/XtWU3Fa1GXNb43BqRm5IO30SRys/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=AEN65xr4j1E:9cLs5aducH8:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=AEN65xr4j1E:9cLs5aducH8:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=AEN65xr4j1E:9cLs5aducH8:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/HK3U6KKjmas" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/HK3U6KKjmas/pentagon_reports_army_mascothttp://tv.theonion.com/content/video/pentagon_reports_army_mascothttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2009%2F05%2F12%2FMASCOT_KILLED_ITUNES.mp4&title=Pentagon+Reports+Army+Mascot+%27Liberty%27+Killed+in+Iraq&issue=4520The OnionOn Today Now!, Jim and Tracy meet James Kimura, a 12-year-old afflicted with the ability to spell long words normal kids don't even care about.YesWed, 6 May 2009 18:30:34 EDT/content/video/special_boy_with_freakishly_large<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/pVrKsWhPBEfVQW7mRwt5c831VIE/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/pVrKsWhPBEfVQW7mRwt5c831VIE/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/pVrKsWhPBEfVQW7mRwt5c831VIE/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/pVrKsWhPBEfVQW7mRwt5c831VIE/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=dK2Llds5m28:mrUKfU9R6L0:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=dK2Llds5m28:mrUKfU9R6L0:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=dK2Llds5m28:mrUKfU9R6L0:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/A1swevREfdw" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/A1swevREfdw/special_boy_with_freakishly_largehttp://tv.theonion.com/content/video/special_boy_with_freakishly_largehttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2009%2F05%2F07%2FSPELLING_BEE_ITUNES.mp4&title=Special+Boy+With+Freakishly+Large+Brain+Wins+Spelling+Bee&issue=4519The OnionLong time fans of the Star Trek franchise say JJ Abrams' enjoyable, engaging prequel betrays what Star Trek is all about.YesMon, 4 May 2009 20:00:35 EDT/content/video/trekkies_bash_new_star_trek_film<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/2aqKHTTI8SYkn3ZfxgPjEzgwev8/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/2aqKHTTI8SYkn3ZfxgPjEzgwev8/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/2aqKHTTI8SYkn3ZfxgPjEzgwev8/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/2aqKHTTI8SYkn3ZfxgPjEzgwev8/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=yxmzJcut3qQ:JHm28o5U314:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=yxmzJcut3qQ:JHm28o5U314:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=yxmzJcut3qQ:JHm28o5U314:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/mJfI-x4bXy8" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/mJfI-x4bXy8/trekkies_bash_new_star_trek_filmhttp://tv.theonion.com/content/video/trekkies_bash_new_star_trek_filmhttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2009%2F05%2F05%2FSTAR_TREK_ITUNES.mp4&title=Trekkies+Bash+New+Star+Trek+Film+As+%27Fun%2C+Watchable%27&issue=4519The OnionUganda's Ambassador is threatening to abolish the Committee on Conferences and author the draft calendar of conferences and meetings himself.YesWed, 29 Apr 2009 18:30:58 EDT/content/video/ambassador_stages_coup_at_un<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/6deaI9P5DTjIm9NDt7GrRPZdw7U/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/6deaI9P5DTjIm9NDt7GrRPZdw7U/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/6deaI9P5DTjIm9NDt7GrRPZdw7U/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/6deaI9P5DTjIm9NDt7GrRPZdw7U/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=6Bf2AWCQj8o:w1lKFN6BZCc:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=6Bf2AWCQj8o:w1lKFN6BZCc:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=6Bf2AWCQj8o:w1lKFN6BZCc:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/iFTbmUOREso" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/iFTbmUOREso/ambassador_stages_coup_at_unhttp://tv.theonion.com/content/video/ambassador_stages_coup_at_unhttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2009%2F04%2F30%2FUGANDAN_AMBASSADOR_ITUNES.mp4&title=Ambassador+Stages+Coup+At+UN%2C+Issues+Long+List+of+Non-Binding+Resolutions&issue=4518The OnionOn Auto Warriors two Ford plants will battle it out, building to the LIVE season finale event: one plant will close, 3,000 will get the axe!YesMon, 27 Apr 2009 20:00:46 EDT/content/video/autoworkers_compete_to_keep_jobs<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/tXbWp3Xd_bOZcPOPT-lm5ugK76I/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/tXbWp3Xd_bOZcPOPT-lm5ugK76I/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/tXbWp3Xd_bOZcPOPT-lm5ugK76I/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/tXbWp3Xd_bOZcPOPT-lm5ugK76I/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=3fycrFTlg_s:H6ckjjQbHmE:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=3fycrFTlg_s:H6ckjjQbHmE:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=3fycrFTlg_s:H6ckjjQbHmE:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/TRMqk32qYoc" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/TRMqk32qYoc/autoworkers_compete_to_keep_jobshttp://tv.theonion.com/content/video/autoworkers_compete_to_keep_jobshttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2009%2F04%2F28%2FFORD_PLANTS_ITUNES.mp4&title=Autoworkers+Compete+to+Keep+Jobs%2C+Livelihoods+on+New+Reality+Show&issue=4518The OnionIn The Know panelists discuss whether seeing images of dead babies and bludgeoned prostitutes in our sleep is desensitizing Americans to violence.YesWed, 22 Apr 2009 18:30:09 EDT/content/video/should_we_be_doing_more_to_reduce<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/dN9KmDnE-Kn_FyK7H_GtYgRhY94/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/dN9KmDnE-Kn_FyK7H_GtYgRhY94/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/dN9KmDnE-Kn_FyK7H_GtYgRhY94/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/dN9KmDnE-Kn_FyK7H_GtYgRhY94/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=L7rMhIJIC4M:5uRoEd58RSA:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=L7rMhIJIC4M:5uRoEd58RSA:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=L7rMhIJIC4M:5uRoEd58RSA:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/OCeqB4ce4Uc" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/OCeqB4ce4Uc/should_we_be_doing_more_to_reducehttp://tv.theonion.com/content/video/should_we_be_doing_more_to_reducehttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2009%2F04%2F23%2FDREAMS_TOO_VIOLENT_ITUNES.mp4&title=Should+We+Be+Doing+More+To+Reduce+The+Graphic+Violence+In+Our+Dreams%3F+&issue=4517The OnionA new Department of Labor report finds personal outsourcing is revolutionizing how Americans dont do their own work.YesMon, 20 Apr 2009 20:00:29 EDT/content/video/more_american_workers_outsourcing<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/LRTkQGsEgMx9r-6ZqrSaEvxK2sk/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/LRTkQGsEgMx9r-6ZqrSaEvxK2sk/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/LRTkQGsEgMx9r-6ZqrSaEvxK2sk/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/LRTkQGsEgMx9r-6ZqrSaEvxK2sk/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=nNXNrgffb2s:eYqJXyfa2Kg:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=nNXNrgffb2s:eYqJXyfa2Kg:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=nNXNrgffb2s:eYqJXyfa2Kg:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/QcKWsdUQQv8" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/QcKWsdUQQv8/more_american_workers_outsourcinghttp://tv.theonion.com/content/video/more_american_workers_outsourcinghttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2009%2F04%2F21%2FOUTSOURCING_OWN_JOBS_ITUNES.mp4&title=More+American+Workers+Outsourcing+Own+Jobs+Overseas&issue=4517The OnionTreasury Officials say the dye used in printed money is extremely toxic and urge Americans to send all their cash to Washington immediately.YesWed, 15 Apr 2009 18:30:34 EDT/content/video/treasury_department_issues<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/YLusztop9hoAqWB8rQtuSyaAMXs/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/YLusztop9hoAqWB8rQtuSyaAMXs/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/YLusztop9hoAqWB8rQtuSyaAMXs/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/YLusztop9hoAqWB8rQtuSyaAMXs/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=8dn9ijEzvR4:aw_c3oDICIg:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=8dn9ijEzvR4:aw_c3oDICIg:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=8dn9ijEzvR4:aw_c3oDICIg:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/eVkzGnqHJPg" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/eVkzGnqHJPg/treasury_department_issueshttp://tv.theonion.com/content/video/treasury_department_issueshttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2009%2F04%2F16%2FMONEY_RECALL_ITUNES.mp4&title=Treasury+Department+Issues+Emergency+Recall+Of+All+US+Dollars&issue=4516The OnionFrom the Onion Prison Channel: Prison analysts warn rising inflation could devalue everything from rim jobs to shivs.YesMon, 13 Apr 2009 18:45:09 EDT/content/video/prison_economy_spirals_as_price<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/a934_inv9Ge2Y0Fp17jHNberdFc/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/a934_inv9Ge2Y0Fp17jHNberdFc/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/a934_inv9Ge2Y0Fp17jHNberdFc/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~at/a934_inv9Ge2Y0Fp17jHNberdFc/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=vtB5W-HWiXo:ZMVOdnhlJw8:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.theonion.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?a=vtB5W-HWiXo:ZMVOdnhlJw8:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/OnionNewsNetwork?i=vtB5W-HWiXo:ZMVOdnhlJw8:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~4/vduIA7QiIzk" height="1" width="1"/>http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/OnionNewsNetwork/~3/vduIA7QiIzk/prison_economy_spirals_as_pricehttp://tv.theonion.com/content/video/prison_economy_spirals_as_pricehttp://track.theonion.com/podcast_redirect.mp4?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvideos.theonion.com%2Fonion_video%2F2009%2F04%2F14%2FPRISON_ECONOMY_ITUNES.mp4&title=Prison+Economy+Spirals+As+Price+Of+Pack+Of+Cigarettes+Exceeds+Two+Hand+Jobs&issue=4516nonadult