The Onion

Friday, August 15, 2008

Iowa Boobs-For-Grades Scandal

A University of Iowa professor is accused of fondling students in exchange for higher grades. What do you think?

Young Woman

Ruth Steinem,
Systems Analyst
"Hopefully, in light of this incident, the taboo subject of sexual harassment will finally be discussed widely on college campuses."

Young Man

Sam Pollard,
Spot Welder
"I knew my busty, suggestible daughter wasn't that smart."

Black Man

Ray Pettibon,
Screenwriter
"A professor fondles a student! That's perfect! I've had the worst writer’s block for my upcoming porno!"

Personal of the Day