The Onion

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Missing Beatles Track Confirmed

In an interview with the BBC, Paul McCartney confirmed the existence of a 14-minute track the Beatles recorded for an electronic music festival. What do you think?

Old Man

Jonathan Dunn,
Plumbing Wholesaler
"Oh God. My doctor says it's bad for my blood pressure if my mind is blown for more than five minutes at a time."

Young Woman

Kitty Barber,
Radio Station Manager
"As manager of a classic-hits station that's always trying to fill time, I'm thrilled to say this could be 'In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida' and 'American Pie' rolled into one."

Asian Man

J.D. Sutton,
Assisted Living Coordinator
"Maybe this discovery will finally reveal the secret of 'Eight Days A Week' to me. I don't get that song! A week has seven days!"

Personal of the Day